Nosferatu Alucard
This guy is badass. There isn't much more to say about a genetically engineered undead slaughter machine. His origin is obviously unknown along with any of that stupid profile garbage that other fansites insist on putting up. Who the fuck cares what blood-type he is... he looks like a fucking devil and thats all that matters. As far as I know, and trust me I know, Alucard has no real feelings beside the need to kill, eliminating any trashy drama that would occur otherwise. On a side note, he looked like the joker the first time I saw him.

Alexander Anderson
This guy redefines the pansy term Paladin. There's no healing going on here... just hardcore killing and insanity. The series is very vague about his past, as illustrated in the scene in episode 7 that made no sense whatsoever, but I assume that he was once some kind of priest that god bestowed with the power to never die and kill endlessly. As a regenerator, he can take bullets to the head and keep getting up. God knows where he gets these bloody cool knives but he just keeps chucking them. He also has magical bible spells and shit... stuff that Jesus couldn't even do. The only reason I consider him 2nd to Alucard is because he is not Alucard. In terms of sheer badassness... this guy kicks the crap out of whatever dumbass you think is the best.

Integral Wingates Hellsing
At first I thought she was a guy, only because I'm used to seeing these feminine looking male characters in anime. Ok so maybe she's a bit manly looking but she's fucking awesome. On the outside, you see this cold calculating leader of an organization that kills undead things, but when she starts shooting crosses into the heads of her enemies, you know shes a tough bitch. She took over the Hellsing organization when her bastard uncle decided to backstab her and try to kill her, but uh, being the master of Alucard she got the guy fucking killed. She starts looking a little hotter towards the end but remains a virgin. But don't mistake her for that Virgin Mary whore... I mean she can shoot people and look cool. Virgin Mary just bleeds in stupid paintings.

Even as a side character, Walter kicks lots of ass. He uses these strings to cut the shit out of stuff and looks like a harmless butler. Basically, he's this retired Hellsing "Angel of Death" that takes care of Integral (as if she really needs the help... but oh well). The second you see him, you know he's going to be doing more than mixing Integral's fucking oatmeal. When he starts cutting things... he looks mad badass. Just when you thought David was cool for killing the Goliath, Walter comes along and fucks up his glory. The hell with the Bible, Hellsing kicks ass.

Celes Victoria
I suppose she's the heroine of the story but she's the one drag on the line of badasses. I mean don't get me wrong... she kills with a fucking bazooka and randomly goes postal and rips ghouls apart, but she's no Integral. Sometimes her lack of seriousness and comical faces irritate me but none the less add to the awesomeness of Hellsing. She can look alarming cool though like in the opening when she's about to lick that knife. That's fucking genious. Anyway, she's this half-vampire chick that basically serves Alucard for the entire series. She could kick Eve's ass and is a ton more subservient. I mean for godsake Eve basically fucked up the entire human race just to eat some god forsaken apple. You better fucking bet Celes would shoot the shit out of that cunt rag.

This is what happens when the artists run out of badass looking designs. I mean they're only human... they can only make so many badasses. Basically Incognito is the "true undead". I can't say he's a vampire because he clearly isnt. He's basically this monster thing that Alucard fights in the end. I'd like to point out that the last fight in Hellsing in episode 13 is by far the most awesome fucking ending episode ever. Anyway, he seems like a challenge to Alucard at first but gets the utter shit kicked out of him, thus negating his effect on the series. I consider him a ghoul with magical powers, nothing special as far as villians go. But, uh, I'm sure he could fuck up Noah and his god damn Ark pretty bad.

The General Who's Name Doesn't Even Matter
Ok I think this guy's name is like Henderson or Fergusson or something homo like that but he basically dies like scum. Not even to a vampire or something cool... he just dies to like a regular soldier. He does get licked by Celes in death though, however irrelevant that might be. He's not even a cool general like the guy in Gladiator... all he does is say "Amen" alot and die.

She's this creepy little vampire that sits in a dark room and reads books and shit. She doesn't kill anyone or drink any blood... but gets devoured by Incognito, proving her utter incomptence in dealing with monsters despite her above average strength and sharp sharp teeth.

Random Detective That Gets Blown Up
He knows Celes's dad and uses her as protection from Helena, a somewhat lacking vampire who reads books. He's impressive in no way whatsoever and actually makes me mad. He gets all kinds of blown up, which probably sucks shit considering there are so many cooler ways to die in this anime. I think in one episode he eats pie.

Scum That Wants to Become a Vampire But Gets Eaten Instead
This guy basically wants to get ungodly strength and roam the nights, probably because he's some fucking loser that can't get laid or defend himself from small children with stones. He gets eaten by really hot vampire chicks. His purpose is crucial to the development of the anime for sure.

Scum That Wants to Become a Vampire Too But Gets Chucked Against a Wall
This guy doesn't even have the glory of being eaten by females... he just gets chucked against a wall and dies. After almost being bitten in front of a live audience. An utter loser if not for the fact that he gets to appear in Hellsing.

Female Vampire That Gets Killed By Random Hellsing Sniper
She almost bites this stupid reporter on a street. Celes refuses to shoot her and instead she gets fucked up by a random Hellsing sniper. I'd also like to note that the sniper isn't even a vampire. True scum in the worse possible way.

Two Vampires That Do It While Shooting Dead Bodies
They think they're hot shit until Alucard fucks them up royally. In fact, Celes actually kills the chick, proving how completely useless she was at anything besides giving the other vampire head. Completely unworthy of the spell Alucard wastes on them.

Hot Looking Female Vampire In Tight Leather Clothing
Arguably one of the most important characters in Hellsing. Opening the series with a scene involving a fucking hot vampire chick in tight leather was no accident. Killing her horribly via Alucard was no mistake either. Pure genius.

Random Guy That Wants to Get It With the Hot Looking Female Vampire In Tight Leather Clothing
This total shithell brings the hot vampire chick home after a party and starts feeling her up and shit till Alucard shows up and shoots her to fucking dust. As awesome as it would be to get with a vampire chick, you're probably safer with 13 year olds.

Random Tough Guy Soldier That Attempts to Steal Alucard's Glory In One Of the Last Episodes And Dies
You don't appear on the screen when Alucard is shooting things, WITH TWO GUNS ESPECIALLY. This guy deserved to fucking die... and was honored unjustly by Alucard's bullet in his head.