Episode 1

Ok, so the first thing you see is the opening. Like all these zombies are there and this crazy looking dog shows up. You're just like "WHAT THE FUCK THIS ANIME RULES." Ok right so you see Integral and Anderson and at that point you've got your hand out of your pants and you're actually watching. Now this is the single best opening I've ever seen. Not only does it hook you but the music is all jazzy and awesome.

After the opening you see Alucard locking and loading his gun, the one made out of a silver cross. Now this is a horrendously badass gun and he kills this fucking hot ass vampire chick that wears tight leather clothing. It's so fuckin wrong... death and hot chicks RIGHT AWAY. DEAR FUCKING GOD. Basically the rest of the episode is about how they have to kill this minister vampire and they send Alucard, this strong ass mother fucking super vampire to do it. He's like stronger than entire armies and shit. Wrong wrong stuff... so anyway you see this stupid weiner girl Celes Victoria and she's like a medic or something but she fails horribly and ends up running away into the vampire minister. I just wanna say first that the music so fucking awesome... it's all jazzy and shit especially when he says "On this night I crave for blood" as he walks into the town. Ok right back to the minister, so like she gets held hostage right and the minister orders all his ghouls to kill Alucard, BUT HE JUST STANDS THERE AS BULLETS SHRED HIM... ITS THE WRONGEST SCENE I HAVE EVER SEEN. (NOTE: I'll be saying that a lot so don't take it literally.) So like he's this pile of goopy blood and he comes back and like he can't hit the guy so he asks Celes if he can shoot her through the lungs to kill the guy with his badass gun with the silver gun. So anyway, she wants to become a vampire so she says yes and he actually shoots her and kills the guy. So basically the end is like he turns her into a vampire and asks Integral, his master, if she can join Hellsing.

What You Need To Know: Basically, Celes is a half-vampire now and we've established that Alucard can rape Jesus.